autumn days

Thursday, January 12, 2012

prayer of a parent

A few days ago as I processed some of my parents' psychology, I sat down without reason to type out the following paragraph.  It demanded to be written, as if my subconsciousness were pleading with my consciousness, and it flowed without any expectation.  Here it is.

This is a critical time in which we choose how to tackle the challenges in life.  Will we meet our stretched patience with forgiveness and honesty, or will we pretend things are fine when they are not?  I swallow my pride and apologize and hope that I am not giving too much of myself away in this daily challenge of balancing my own needs with my children's needs.  May this burden not be too much for me to carry.  May I carry it with grace and love and peace and joy.  May I let my inner monster out to play when it is needed and not make it hide deep within to later attack my inner self and those I love.  May I move through parenting with peace and contentment, enjoying the moments and the journey.  Please let me be honestly joyous now and later. 

When I shared this with my friend Holly and asked her what she thought it was all about, she responded with: "I think it symbolizes you growing and expanding in directions you really want to go but may be holding back in some ways.  You can see the end goal, but know that not everything can be achieved at the present moment.  Your inner monster could be anger or impatience or an injustice you are fighting."  Her reflections allowed me to see this as an honest prayer that will lead me in the right direction.  By sharing my honest prayer as a parent, I hope it will be easier for you, dear reader, to express and process some of your own gut feelings when it comes to meeting the challenges of parenting.  

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