Happy Music

Goodness me, oh my.  We are having such a dance party around here since we created our own mixed Happy CDs.  My children and I spent a few joyous days compiling our favorite FEEL GOOD music.  Our CDs include the Frozen Soundtrack, music by Jason Mraz, Happy by Pharrell Williams, Exactly by Amy Steinberg, It's a Beautiful World I See by Tim Myers, Silver Bells by Bing Crosby, Going to the Chapel by Dixie Cups, and more.

Now we listen to them endlessly in the car.  Car trips used to be stressful and worthy of lots of (my) teeth-grinding.  Now I am excited to get into my car for a mandatory trip.  Pop in the music and we come alive!  We dance, sing, smile, and laugh.  It's incredible how simple it is to change one rough spot in our routine into an enlivening one.  We've been excitedly sharing these CDs with beloved ones.  Our next Happy CD will soon be released, complete with Seasons of Love from the Rent soundtrack and a bit of yodeling (Hannah's newest interest).  We look forward to hearing your Happy CD.

Dancing with the wind

Staycation Sensation

My children spent the last two weeks free of an academic schedule for winter break.  True, we cancelled plans to see any beloved ones for the holidays and stay home with the stomach flu, though our time together has been delightful.

I've organized so many cupboards, closets, cabinets, and even places that don't begin with the letter C.  One of our highlights was waking up at 1 a.m. Christmas morning to wash bedding; as everyone was up, we opened a couple gifts.  My son Liam's quilt hasn't progressed much, though we've turned a friend's old t-shirts into handkerchiefs and crafted fabric bowls from smaller scraps.  New quilt squares were cut, ironed, and organized for days.  Art kits that sat dormant for months were finally enjoyed.  My children spent a little time on the computer playing academic games together.  They read, wrote, and assembled endlessly.  There was plenty of clean up time too.

Our little staycation felt more academically successful than our hours of struggle at the kitchen table.  While my family chooses the route of homeschooling with some adult-chosen academics, I now see the splendor of unschooling.  Thanks to my patient, creative children teaching me to find joy and love in each moment, our staycation became a sensation.  I just followed their lead and picked up pieces along the way.

The Unstuffing Pillow Project

Finding Jesus at the Library

Raised as a Christian and walking my own path alongside many religions, I love feeling the excitement people have for their spiritual passions.  We all have a choice in whom we choose to follow.  Buddha, Ghandi, Jesus, and others are all wonderful spiritual teachers.

My heart purrs when I hear my friend from Texas drawl "Thank you, Jesus!"  My mother is a great follower of Jesus, centering much of her faith on his life.  Jesus comforts her in times of need.  I've thought of Jesus as the guy belonging only to those who call themselves Christian.  However, my perspective and awareness of him have been evolving.

Last November a shamanic friend emailed me a distance healing she did for my husband.  Months later I finally found her healing notes and realized the time she'd done the healing corresponded to the end of my husband's talk of physical pain.  Jesus was the one who came through my friend to provide the healing along with specific directions.  Intriguing, yes, though I rejoiced at the physical healing and let it go at that.

Then I read and loved two books in which Jesus was a main focus.  The Essenes: Children of the Light and The Magdalen Manuscript.  As I read these books, I began to feel the light of Jesus near me. This light was present whenever I thought of him.  Now I am able to call him to me at any time and to feel as if I am within his beam of healing love and light.  This feeling is incredibly comforting.

The book I am now reading, Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth, has blown my mind.  In this book, I love seeing a clear difference between the Jesus of Nazareth and Jesus Christ.  The author clarifies the clear line between the two.  I still call Jesus's light to me often, though my mind is wrapping around the differences between these two characters.  It is curious how a mortal morphs into a God within a couple centuries of his death.  And of how the true story changes dramatically to teach lessons and meet the needs of the new teachers.

After a year in a Christian co-op school, I chose not to sign the faith statement and was asked to no longer work with the children and to only participate if I wanted my children to believe exactly as they do.  Our difference lay on their belief that the True Jesus is the only way to salvation, while all other paths lead to burning in hell for eternity.  This experience provides for me another view of Christianity.  It clarifies the view of many faithful servants who willingly appease an angry exclusive God.  I understand this is a small view of Christianity, as the religion encompasses a great variety of views.  Several of my Christian friends are helping me to understand the wide variety within this umbrella of religion.

I love my mother's words that Jesus is what we need him to be.  I cherish having a personal relationship with Jesus the Christ in a way that feels safe and comforting for me.  Through these books and my personal experiences with Jesus, I love slowly unfolding the story of a man's life and how he became a healer, a holy man, the son of God.  And now he stands by my side with his beam of incredible healing light and delight, teaching me how to open my heart in new ways.  Thank you, Jesus!

Happy Challah-Day

Liam fell in love with a library book called Rise & Shine: A Challah-Day Tale.  For a week he followed me around while carrying a cube of butter in a pan as he encouraged me to help him make Challah bread.  "The recipe is in the back of the book and we have all the ingredients!"  So we made time for his recipe.  We used my usual combination of garbanzo flour and rice flour.  When the bread didn't rise the first time, we tried a different yeast.  Still it was a solid airless creation.  Nevertheless Liam was thrilled to finally use his recipe to create his own Challah-Day.  We will make his favorite recipe again with a fluffier flour.  He'll be thrilled for another go at it.

Waiting for rising dough

Working the Challah

Liam's Challah

Hannah's Challah

Uncle Bill's Girl

I have a father.  I am his daughter.  My own daughter has an incredibly loving father.  I am only now beginning to understand what this means to others, being Daddy's girl.  I watched a cheesy video last week that portrayed the blissful connection between a daddy and daughter as they go out on a date.  I watched in confusion, not understanding why people were so touched by the video.  Only when I could put the face of my beloved Uncle Bill in the daddy role, his daughters as his beloveds, did I burst into tears at feeling the love they share.  My heart hasn't known until now the love a father and daughter can share.  From my childhood I recall trying to avoid my father, trying to protect myself from his emotional and physical violence.  These defensive walls still protect me as an adult.  As I acknowledge and mourn the loss of a safe childhood relationship with my father, my daily gratefulness.org quote speaks straight to my heart.

"Grief is a felt experience of love for something lost or that we are losing.  That is an incredibly powerful doorway." -Chris Jordan

This loss I feel may be turned into an incredible learning opportunity.  What do I choose to do with this new lesson?  I choose to see such beauty in the healthy love between daddies and daughters.  I choose to bring more of that into my life, my children's lives.  I choose to support my partner in loving his daughter.  I choose to nurture and nourish their relationship with one another, through date time, praying for divinity in their connection, getting out of the way of the joy they find in one another, and asking them to detail what they love about each other.  Following through on this intention helps me to see results; I see my daughter and her daddy growing closer and sharing more joyful adventures.  My partner doesn't do everything my way, which is a good thing.  He is such a patient, loving parent to our cherished children.

On my journey, I was born to one mother and father.  I love and appreciate them, connect with them in safe ways, and cherish my life they made possible.  Lucky for me, I also get to be mentored by many others.  Two months ago I finally met my dad's brother, Uncle Bill.  Uncle Bill looks at me in a way that melts my heart and makes my eyes water, with such incredible, abundant, unconditional love.  Just thinking of him brings me right back into our loving connection.  The love of a father for his daughter.  I love him right back.  Completely.  I am Uncle Bill's girl.

Annual Self-Portrait

At the beginning of each academic year, we three draw out our self-portraits.  I love watching the development in each year, saving them away in their art books.  This is a ritual we cherish.  Here are two years of our drawings for your viewing pleasure.

Liam age 2

Liam, age 3

Hannah, age 5

Hannah, age 6

my self-portrait last year

my self-portrait this year

Kitten Bliss

I find myself smiling at the antics of our two new sister kittens.  After the death of my beloved old cat, we've gone without any pets.  Now we are thrilled with our two newest family members.  Hannah and Liam named their kittens.  Beautiful Cutie and Gizmo Ulysses are feisty and affectionate and we adore them in all their blissfully quirky ways.

Kitten bliss