grocery adventures (take two)

We had a few person bags made as gifts.  They say, "Please take note!  Always bring a tote!"

our pile of cloth bags (one for the library books, a bunch for the car, etc.)

We've been making our own fabric drawstring bags for when the plastic runs out.

Dearest Hannah,

Thankfully for you, I had another grocery adventure, but this time all by myself.  As a mother of two small children, I relish my time alone, even if it is spent strolling down grocery store aisles.  This time I went armed with bunches of plastic bags shoved into a paper towel tube, a couple plastic tubs, and a baggie of twist ties.  The local Winco has an enormous amount of goods in the bulk section.  I found my Parmesan cheese, organic spaghetti noodles, coffee creamer, and dry cat food in bulk.  (The cat's intestines didn't react well to the dry food, but we loved the pasta and cheese.)  I came home with 20 plastic bags full of bulk and produce items, a tub of local blackberry honey, and an extra $0.06 for each reused bulk and grocery bag.  (My mom says each cashier has a different rule on bag refunds and you can't get more than $2.)  I reused my bags because I felt it was the right thing to do, and found that I could also earn some money back by making that choice.

We've been able to share our old plastic bags with the local library who gives them out to patrons with loads of books.  And we pick up our library books and groceries in fabric bags.  In my spare moments here and there... they aren't plentiful... I've assembled some fabric bags that will eventually be our bulk bags when the fabric bags wear out.  And for now, we're saving our old holy plastic bags for recycling at Far West Fibers.  Progress is being made and I had another fun outing to the grocery store.  This time I got to rock out to my music alone in the car and discover new things to buy without new packaging.  Who could ask for more?

Wrapped with love,
your mama

parental expectations & culture

My friend Alice emailed this article to me (Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior), as my husband is Taiwanese and may have interesting opinions on the subject of parenting that differ from a Caucasian parent's perspective.  This was my response.

our two beautiful Eurasian children

Dear Alice,

No worries about offending by asking for his advice because he's Asian.  He says as an Asian person, he is able to speak for all Asians... and then made a joke about Asian dads being better than moms; he's such a funny guy.  It was an interesting article.  He said there were a lot of generalizations, and he's didn't have Chinese parents, but Taiwanese parents.  He said he watched television and played video games and could do anything he wanted, other than go out to play on weekdays, even after finishing all his work.  The expectation was he'd get no less than perfect and that he'd go through graduate school. 

And my Caucasian family rule was I could go out to play after my homework and chores were done.  The expectation was to try my best, whatever that was.  I had to focus on my tasks until I felt I had done what I could.  In my family there wasn't necessarily an expectation to go to college, nor the funding, yet both my brother and I received good grades and eventually paid our own way through college and masters degrees.  My husband had his college paid for and is the only child in his family NOT to have a masters degree.  So this article gave us much to think and talk about.  Which way is best?  Is there a way to have firm expectations and still allow your children free time and space to have say in their activities (which activities and how often)?

Now I am wondering if I should raise my expectations of Hannah instead of giving her so much independence and so many choices in her daily life.  I didn't have so many choices to make when I was a child and then found later I had trouble making my own decisions.  I believe giving my daughter freedom to find her own answers by listening to her own heart and instincts will serve her well in the long run.  I do feel I make decisions for her when it's necessary or when I just can't accept another alternative.  An example is she wants to stay in jammies at home all day every day and I just need to get out of the house after being home-bund with an infant for a couple months.  I try to provide choices for Hannah whenever I can, to let her feel her own empowerment and to shape her own environment, even if the choices are, like my husband says, the same two things said in different ways: "brush teeth now or in one minute."  I am more of a stand back and keep them safe mom.  I love allowing time and space for free exploratin and learning, as long as it appears safe and respectful.  I can find a way to give Hannah choices that I can live with while also encouraging her to put all her effort into the activities of her choice.  She can choose the activity from our shared list, or I can.  She can put all her effort into that activity and try her best and practice, or I can choose a logical, natural consequence or another activity for her.  There are ways for both parties to get what they want, I believe.  It seems to me a child comes with particular interests and talents and it is our job as parent to help them to grow to the best of their ability into healthy happy adults.  But that's just me, the parent of a preschooler.  I am sure my philosophy will be quite different when my daughter is a young adult.

We've had a student-nanny in our home for a couple weeks (I went through the same nanny school 15 years ago, nwnanny.com), and I've found laying down rules and boundaries and reasonings and lists of parenting techniques has really helped me evaluate my parenting choices and style.  What a wonderful opportunity to reflect on my parenting while my children are young, so I can still make changes.  So on days when I feel I am going stir-crazy or just crazy because there's not much time left within the day for myself, I can breath and reflect and learn and grow, and be thankful for that time to process my parenting before my children are adults.  I feel so privileged to have that luxury of reflection when looking back at I and my parents and grandparents were raised.  Hopefully I am growing into a parent with clear expectations, high standards, yet time to run and play and enjoy time with my beautiful growing-so-fast children.

This article got me thinking.  We will have more structure within our day now: more home school activities, scheduled classes here and there, more of a routine, once again host regular preschool book club parties, and more frequently visit with our home school (and other) friends.  What did you think of the article?  No offense was taken and we appreciate the conversations this article has opened.

Warm regards,
jennifer

Is that recyclable? (take two)

Dearest Hannah,

We're learning more about recycling every day!  We should be following the specifics about what can be recycled from curbside pick up, from plastic bags to plastic containers of a certain shape and size.  The rest should be sorted into bins and taken to Far West Fibers, where they let you sort out the materials and then they recycle metal, plastics, shoes, and much more.  So now Papa will curse this new project of accumulating recyclables in bins in our garage.  He'll forget about the bins once I push more for biodegradable cat litter.
 
Attempting to evolve,
your mama

grocery adventures

Dear Hannah,

You and I finally got out of the house for a date.  And where did we go for our fun time together?  The grocery store, of course!  Your papa was overwhelmed by all the veggies and bulk goods I put on the list and was relieved when I finally volunteered to fetch them.

We are trying to reduce our environmental impact, meaning reducing our intake of goods, reusing what we have, and recycling what we can't use again.  We are trying to mainly reduce, as then there is less to reuse and recycle.  Plastics get more toxic the more they are recycled, and much of the plastics we have are not recyclable in the first place.  Hopefully next week when the weather isn't bone-chillingly-cold, we'll get to a local farmers market.  (Portland Farmers Market, Lloyd Farmers Market)  Yes, there are some ambitious farmers sell fresh produce outdoors all year.  We'll make a run to Limbo for gallon glass jars and fresh herbs, but until then, we've made it to the grocery store.

I've been talking with my friend Holly about alternative reusable packaging.  I've been sewing fabric bags to hold bulk goods, from pasta to paprika, but I am still working through zillions of plastic bulk bags from previous shopping.  On this shopping trip, you and I spent all of our time in the fresh food and bulk sections, with a quick run through the store to grab some Borax.  I am not quite sure what to do with the Borax yet, but we'll get to it sooner than later.  There is a list of never-ending projects around here, from art to thank you cards, from making breads to dinners.  We'll get to Borax.  But in the bulk section, we had such fun finding our favorite cooking and baking ingredients: poppy seeds, pastas, rice mixes, flax, cinnamon, allspice.  Next time we'll take a glass jar and fill up on honey.  We had such fun, I think we should regularly ask your papa to watch your brother so you and I can peruse the isles of the bulk and produce departments.  I didn't know shopping could be so much fun!

Breaded with love,
your mama

decreasing our home's impact

After discussing home efficiency and less home waste with friends, these are things I will attempt to implement into our lives.

• when leaving for vacation, turn off all power at water heater and circuit breaker except refrigerator
• use only existing bags to bring home new goods, such as fabric bags for pasta or jars for peanut butter
• more holiday crafts with materials at home, such as corn husk dolls or homemade laundry detergent
• more meals with home canned staples (Hello, tomato soup and pizza on homemade bread!)
• list of sustainable ideas from http://www.clackamas.us/docs/sustainability/2010selfassess.pdf 
• shower less than five minutes each day
• turn off computer when away half hour
• send emails instead of paper
• reuse and refill products
• teleconference instead of commute
• lunch with reusable containers and utensils (and napkin) 
• at gatherings, provide reusable containers, utensils, and healthy local food
• smaller home with energy efficient appliances and bulbs
• 68 degree or lower in home without air conditioning
• weatherized house with tight caulking, windows, and sufficient insulation
• buy 100% green power or provide your own
• all native plants in yard without any chemicals
• little or no grass to mow
• no watering in yard and plenty of drought resistant plants
• collect and use rain water
• bike, walk
• vegetarian or eat some local organic meats
• recycle and compost
• "Use everything until you wear it out, repair it, or give it away to others; buy in bulk; consider the packaging in your purchase decision"

homemade products

Dear Hannah,

I have learned so much from No Impact Man and keep attempting to apply it to our lives.  Your papa says he is the No Impact Man and that it is the rest of his family with all the waste.  Doesn't he do our shopping?  Well, Colin Beavan's book and film have brought much environmental conversation and activity into our home.  Your papa asked me never to turn off his water cooler again, but hasn't yet mentioned my constantly unplugging his appliances.  He even asked you to turn off the lights and water, doesn't mind you cosleeping with him without a diaper, and bought a used work chair off craigslist.com.  We are all making progress.  In an attempt to buy fewer plastic goods, I am searching for a laundry detergent recipe using borax and haven't yet found it.  We use a green detergent, but I'd like to end our use of all those plastic tubs.

In my hunt, I have found Colin Beavan's recipes for other home products.  Perhaps we'll be able to integrate some of them into our repertoire.  What will your poor shampoo-loving papa think now?  The following recipes are Colin's from the above link.

Household cleanser—One quart water, 1 teaspoon borax, 2 tablespoons vinegar, 1 teaspoon castile soap (you can see my supplies will last until I’m about 76 and it’s way cheaper than store bought).

Soap—You can use castile soap but we’re using soap made from local beeswax and bought at the farmers' market.

Shampoo—Seven ounces of filtered water, one ounce castile soap, one teaspoon olive oil. [Since writing this post, I've decided I'm not a great fan of this recipe. I now use baking soda mixed with water. It doesn't suds but it cleans really well. NIM 6/28/07]

Dishwashing detergent—one measure castile soap to one measure water.

Of course, if you can’t be bothered to mix this stuff up, just go to your local health food store and buy the eco-products that are explicitly labeled “nontoxic” (an FDA term) and biodegradable, are plant rather than petroleum based (I avoid animal based products too), and contain no chlorine bleach, benzyne, toluene, xylene, trichlorethane or phosphates. Buy them concentrated and large to avoid extra plastic packaging.

Still searching (for detergent),
your mama

healthy decomposable cleaners

a homemade drawstring bag

donating our extras

Dear Hannah,

We are so grateful to get all your clothing from your older cousin after she and three other girls have used it.  There is plenty of wonderful clothing we'll keep in case someday you're blessed with a sister.  Until then, we have so many extra clothes.  I got to wondering about people needing baby clothes, as I don't want to sell my fifth-time-around clothes on craigslist; I just want to give it away.  After volunteering in a women's shelter, I know they do amazing work and see a lot of children.  Those children may need clothes.  I've found they need NEW clothes.  We have some of those as well, as our loved ones bless us with more children's clothing than we can ever use.  I will research who can put our older clothing to good use.  But for now, I'll make a donation pile for the local women's shelter.  We have been so blessed with such abundance in our lives, it is nice to share what we have with others.  And the non-salvageable goods we can turn into rags and rugs and other creative goods.  Like eating a chicken, we don't want to waste anything.  Everything has a place and a purpose.

Much love,
your mama

clothing and household items for Clackamas Women's Services