Seattle 2015

My family has been going to Seattle each year for as long as I can remember.  Each summer with our children, we find new places to explore, new flavors to savor, visit old friends and make new ones, laugh, play, and fall into bed joyfully exhausted each night.  My partner loves to plan the details of the trip so we get to several excursions and food destinations each day.  Last summer I was ripe with our third babe.  My partner graciously left me at home for a baby shower as he took them on a wild adventure with friends in this beloved city.  Looking through some of my favorite photographs from their trip, I feel like I was there too, only with more restful feet.  We haven't visited our beloved city this year, due to my partner's cancer diagnosis and treatment.  We are looking forward to getting through these rough months and into a healthier future so we can get back to Seattle.  It is a wonderful thing to look forward to our next trip to the big city.

Gum wall

The Great Wheel

Butterfly observatory

Our favorite fountain near the Science Center

Henry's Taiwan

Huskie groupies

Elliot Bay

Sandy, wet, & wild on Alki Beach

Fremont troll

Kerry Park

All Dressed Up

One year ago, these two charming children headed off to our homeschool co-op with Papa.  Their outfit choices brought us all great joy.  This photo was taken as they kissed our baby and me before heading out.  I love how they each have unique paths in attire, curiosity, creativity, and preferences.  I love learning about who they are by listening and watching when I am not too stressed over getting them here and there on time.  This September they are again attending daily academic activities.  They are still creatively dressing themselves.  I am so thankful for this photograph and how it helps me to see the delight and beauty within my unique children.  I give such great thanks for the privilege of getting to be their mama.

Kombucha Love

My good friend spontaneously handed me a jar of scoby for kombucha several years ago.  I had no idea what it was.  My body had been breaking out in hives for months from a "leaky gut".  I'd declined food sensitivity treatments because of their unjustifiable expense.  At home, after mixing and sampling my own kombucha, my hives entirely disappeared and have not returned.  Now I have one gallon of honey bush lavender green tea kombucha brewing and another jar crammed to the top with very happy extra scobies I share with anyone who expresses interest.  When cut into small pieces, chickens, cats, and dogs love the nutrient packed substance.  It is also nourishing for houseplants and gardens.  I somehow have kept all my scobies alive and provide new ones for my friends that cannot.

Kelsey Willard summarizes my love of the kombucha brew of champions well.  "Wanting to ward off those nasty lingering colds from this winter?  Maybe you are looking for an alternative to coffee &/or soft drinks?  Or maybe you are looking for a new choice of "juice" for your littles, instead of feeding them the pasteurized liquid sugar from the super market.  Whatever your reasonings may be, Kombucha deserves your attention and a try."

Our Simple Forgiving Delicious Kombucha Recipe

Materials

• one gallon glass jar
• green or black tea bags
• non-stainless steal pot
• glass bowl
• one cup sugar
• kombucha scoby
• cloth
• rubberband

Steps

1. Pour out kombucha into glass containers, store in refrigerator.
2. Leave scoby mother and a quart of juice in your gallon glass jar.
3. Boil a gallon of water in pot (use no stainless steel with kombucha).
4. Turn off stove.
5. Pour half the hot water into a glass bowl and stir in 1 cup sugar.
6. Place 5-6 green or black tea bags in pot (the one without sugar), add any tea flavoring you like, and let the tea steep 45 minutes.  (I use decaf green tea.)
7. When cool enough, pour both liquids into scoby jar, leaving 1" space at top.
8. Cover with cloth and secure with a rubber band.
9. Let it all brew until you like the flavor, then repeat the recipe.  Time varies by temperature, size and number of scobies, and personal preference.

Kombucha love

The Blessings of Each New Day

Dearest Radiant Readers,

Each new day bring a new adventure.  My children and I are figuring out how to gracefully manage our morning to allow for breakfast, sitting down to breakfast together, kissing Papa, and making sure all preparations are in place before getting on that school bus.  Each day is darker than the last at this time of year.

Each day brings something new.  This is my fourth day without my two older children at home, as the school year has just started and this year my children are a part of it.  After days of shuffling things from one place to another in spare minutes, the counters are visible.  We've been able to attend medical meetings together, run errands, rest.  My baby is a few days from her first birthday and is able to take quiet naps (on my back or in my lap).  A friend came to love on our baby so I could get a great cleansing massage (sweat, tears, emotions, knotted muscles).

My partner (the Papa) has completed five days of radiation on his right lung.  For now he can still talk and swallow and eat solids.  We are prepared in all ways to make smoothies for his wounded esophagus.  He is sleeping a little better with an air purifier, humidifier, and oxygen machine.  Friends have come from near and very far to visit, leaving so much love and nourishment.  On this long road with cancer, be it weeks or years, there are so many ups and downs.  We are hoping and praying for many quality years together as a family of five.  When we break it down into digestible chunks, each day is truly a gift.

With the help of friends, I may make it to our thrice yearly adult book club without the big kids.  A friend offered babysitting so I get to attend a yoga class or just have time alone once a week.  These little yet big things help keep me afloat as I do my best to be a calm, patient, joyful mother and wife.

Each day brings great unknown adventures.  Today is a wonderful day.  My partner is able to drive himself to simple appointments.  I have sunshine, open windows, a baby napping on my back, computer keys under my fingertips, cats sunning themselves, clean laundry, quiet.  My children have their favorite class after school today, getting dirty and crafty on the farm.  When we intentionally focus on the abundance in our lives, it is simple amazing how much love and light there is in our world.  Like water to a garden, our attention on our blessings helps our appreciations grow.  Each day is such a gift.

Such gratitude,
Jenn Mer

Lighting the Way

Dearest Readers,

My intention within my family is to guide our family toward joy, light, grace, and connection.  Some days that is quite the challenge.  My beautiful son refused to close the bathroom door this morning, to keep his baby sister safe.  This small choice escalated until three of us were shouting.  Thankfully this is rare for us.  We are juggling a lot of emotions here.  Yesterday we met teachers for our immersion in public school.  This morning we got a reconfirmation of my partner's lung cancer diagnosis.  He is, at this moment, getting an MRI on his brain.

When displeased with the course of emotions this morning, I stepped out of my routine and into my prayer space.  I gave great thanks for these lives we live together, for the opportunity to grow and know this too shall pass.  I stepped into intentionally connecting with friends and renewing my connection with myself.  I got to sit outside with a friend to open my heart and drink tea, meditated in the wind, watch the birds move about in preparations for autumn, listen to music that feels good, prepare for my craft of choice: card creations, let go of my children's academic rigamarole, get out of the way of my children's play, delight in my baby sleeping on my back, and plan a date with a friend's trampoline.

My children and I will soon be soothing ourselves with wrestling, walking barefoot outdoors, eating (washed) produce out of the garden, cuddling.  It is nice to know that we are doing our best, releasing control of what is outside of ourselves, letting our children know our expectations of not hurting others, honesty about feeling depleted from interactions, talking about how we take care of each other and make deposits and withdrawals in relationships, and that we can recover from a challenging moment and find great blissening within many other moments of our day.  I love my partner.  I love my children.  I love them as my greatest teachers.  I love the gift of their lives intermingled with mine.  I love the ability to connect with myself through these writings.  I love the space in which to connect.

Joyfully yours,
Jennifer

Moments

A lot moves through and around us as life grows and shifts.  It is a blessing to take time to intentionally focus upon the things that feel good.  Yes, we acknowledge the many troublesome details as they float by, though we put the most energy into what feels good.  The more we focus on what brings us joy, the more joy we have in our lives.  The same is true with other emotions we choose to broadcast.  This is part of intentionally living our lives.  For me in this moment, I find peace in recounting the joys of my day.  There are many.  The more I reflect upon them, the more there are.  Simple.  After a bit of practice, this gets easier, sinking in to heal deeper places without ourselves.  Today my blessings were many.

Today, my children and I touched the first autumn rainfall.  Today I meandered through tasks with my children.  We played at the park as long as we wanted.  We chose a special new back-to-school purchase for our first ever day in public school.  We ate delicious cookies as a prize for our library's reading program.  We brought home a loaf of cinnamon roll bread for Papa.  We had a leisurely breakfast, lunch, and dinner, all of us at the table together.  My partner tackled lots of dishes and some laundry.  He didn't cough so much today.  I had a shower.  We sold something on craigslist.com.  We gifted yard toys to a neighbor.  We ate lots of fruit.

My children were helpful with grocery shopping.  I took a long ol' time to type out much of my children's imaginative stories and listened to them read them back to each other.  We finished reading The Green Ember aloud together and are moving onto other awesome tales.  I finished working on photo books of our recent family reunion.  We chose just the right photo for our computer screen from the reunion.

My son played lots of board games with his daddy.  We laughed when our baby girl's cloth diaper fell off.  She got a couple long naps and went to bed tonight when she was ready.  She has now let go of me long enough for me to rise and write.  My older daughter read through another five novels today and is reading another in bed as I type.  Our family had time together to watch the rain, relax, love, and smile.  I give the greatest of thanks for these extraordinary details within this blessed day in a life of miracles.  Aho!

Candyland Love

Scan Day

Today is the big scan day after six weeks of chemotherapy for my partner's lung cancer.  This whole health situation can be quite deep, dark, and devastating.  There is a very real possibility of not having much more time with the beloved father of my children.  Today's scan will determine if standard care will impact this particular cancer or if alternatives will be more fully explored.  We've feeling the depths of uncertainty lately.

What if we choose to believe in miracles, to delight in our time together, to find reasons to celebrate and laugh and dance?  That in itself is quite healing.  I can fill myself with delightful energy with a bit of effort, as I have this morning: a hot bath, meditation, singing, a touch of dancing, listening to my happy music (today's choice), and writing.  I count my blessings: children drawing at the kitchen table, music playing, cool air on a hot summer day, clean water, healthy food, loving friends reaching out, children's laughter.  I've filled up with so much light I get to share the extra with my family.  I ask this light to fill my partner and give him hope, to help him open to the wonderful possibilities that await, to believe in miracles, to find the light in the darkness, and to know he will get a more positive diagnosis.

I have no control over my partner's health, his choices, nor his feelings.  He has free will and his own preferences.  I get to be a beam of delight for my own benefit and know this brings some joy to my family.  I get to choose to find the joy in each moment, such as having the privilege to write while my baby sleeps off my body, such a rare gift.  Practicing mindful and intentional joy brings healing to my body, mind, and spirit.  It may even be contagious.  That's what I'm banking on.  Either way, I still win when I live in the moment and count my blessings.  Each moment is a gift.  Being a part of this resilient family is a gift.  Sharing my own presentness is a gift.  For these gifts I give the greatest of thanks.  Blessings!